On the Hotline
by Midnight-in-Russia
Summary: Inspired by the song "On the Hotline" by Pretty Ricky. Rated M for sexual content and dirty, dirty conversation. Naughty, naughty. RoyEd.


_It's five in the mornin'...._

Somewhere on a table nearby, Roy's bedroom phone rang. He stirred in his sleep and opened one eye - the eye not covered by an eyepatch. With his one functioning eye, he glared at the phone as it continued ringing. How dare it disturb his slumber! He had a right mind to snap his fingers and set the damned thing on fire...but alas, he did not.

The Colonel fell out of bed and crawled toward the table nearby, snatching the receiver off of its cradle. He sat on the hard, wooden floor, rubbing his bedhead as he yawned into the mouthpiece.

"Hello?" He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he curiously awaited the other person's reply. He wondered who could possibly be calling at... - he looked over at his alarm clock on the nightstand - five o'clock in the morning. Probably Lieutenant Hawkeye.

"_Colonel_," a slightly husky voice responded after a while. He smiled, having realized exactly who his caller was.

"Oh, so we're playing _this_ game again, Full Metal?" He drawled into the mouthpiece, unbuttoning his nightshirt.

_And I'm up havin' phone sex with you...._

"Shut it, bastard," Ed's voice gritted out from the other end of the line. It had been a while since they had played this little game. Roy had almost missed it. Almost.

"Is that any way to speak to me if you want something from me?" Roy asked in a mock-scolding voice.

"Just shut up and do it," Ed hissed; Roy could hear the urge and want in his voice.

"Where's Alphonse?" Roy asked, getting rid of the question that had been nagging him in the back of his mind.

"Animal shelter. Freeing kittens, probably," the husky voice whispered back.

"Are you sure we have time for this, Full Metal? How bad is it?" Roy questioned, getting rather tired of this conversation. He lazily picked lint fuzzies off of his nightshirt's sleeve.

"It's to the point where it hurts to walk, you bastard. Fuck you for sending me that letter that was laced with sexual - " _a gasp was heard_ " - innuendos."

Roy silently praised himself as he remembered the very _urgent_ letter he had sent Edward earlier that day. It wasn't his fault that Edward was on a mission and he couldn't see him, was it? He missed his little blonde alchemist.

"I thought you would like it," Roy smirked. Ed growled.

"Talk to me," the blonde snarled. Roy could hear the telltale sounds of masturbation on the other end. Shortness of breath. The sound of skin-on-skin - that is, Ed's hand on his manhood. And Roy's favorite - breathy moans.

"Talk _what_ to you, Edward? Tell me what I want to hear, because this phone bill is going to kill me," the older alchemist smirked as he practically heard Ed roll his eyes.

"Talk _dirty _to me," the blonde ground out. Roy was astounded at the clear connection the phone was giving him. It sounded as if Edward was sitting in the same room as himself. Just that thought alone was enough to get a slight response from his own semi-hard member.

"Talk dirty to you...what?" The older alchemist's lips hardly moved as he freed his own erection from the confines of his pajama bottoms.

"Talk to dirty to me..._Roy_," Ed nearly moaned his name. Roy licked his lips.

"Then let the game begin."

_And now I'm on the hotline...._

"How long do you think this is going to last? I have to get ready for work in about twenty minutes," Roy interjected, causing Ed to growl out of frustration.

"Pretty damn long if you don't start talking," his voice grew shaky on the other end of the line. Roy knew he was already somewhat close.

_Over here, lustin' for you (you)...(so horny)._

"What's your fantasy tonight, Edward?" Roy started off in a low, seductive voice. Ed had described it as "velvety" once. Smooth like butter.

"Mmh," Ed made an indifferent noise, showing that he didn't really care.

"Perhaps we should take it to the shower...." Roy's low voice was the only sound in the empty house. He listened to his voice echo slightly.

"Fine," Ed said, shortly.

"I'd shove you into the bathroom and lock the door. You would turn on the water while I undressed myself. You'd stare at my cock and fall to your knees, grabbing it and shoving it into your mou--"

"Roy!" Ed warned, earning a sigh from the older alchemist.

"Fine, fine. You'd undress yourself and I'd guide you into the shower while I licked and kissed your neck," Roy bit his lip as he stroked himself, imagining the scene behind his closed eyelids. He gripped the phone harder.

"Then what?" A husky voice sounded from the other end.

"Then I'd fondle your balls while you begged me for more," the older man went on, pumped his manhood into his hand, harshly.

Of course, they would never actually do something like this. Never had they had sex or even kissed. Their sexual encounters were strictly limited to telephones. Neither wanted to risk losing their jobs. They didn't have to worry about tapped lines; they never used work lines as a resource. Never.

"More," Ed pleaded, panting harshly into the mouthpiece. Roy shivered. Ed was so demanding and wild, but for some reason, it turned him on. He just didn't understand how someone so...vertically challenged could be so dominant. Not that he minded, of course.

_Let's talk about sex, baby...._

"I'd trace patterns with my fingers on your inner thighs, making you moan with anticipation. My fingers would find their way down to your ass.... I couldn't fuck you without proper lubrication, but I could damn well find other ways to pleasure you," and Roy was serious. He would do almost anything to please Edward, but, unfortunately for him, Ed had never actually sought out physical attention from him.

"Like what?" _A breathy moan sounded_.

'_Damn, I love it when he does that,_' Roy thought, biting his lip as he forced himself to let go of his own dick. He had nearly lost it when Ed had moaned like that. It took all his willpower not to grab his dick and pump it until he came. But his stupid pride wouldn't allow him to come before Edward.

_Let's talk about you and me...._

"I'd drop down on my knees, letting the water soak both of us. I'd part your legs as you leaned against the shower wall, using it for support. I wouldn't dare stick my fingers into that perfect ass of yours without lube. I would never want to hurt you, Ed," Roy cursed himself when he realized how soft his voice had become. Well, at least he was still hard in the one place that counted.

"Yeah?" _Moan_. "Get on with it," Ed's voice gritted out.

"I'd suck on the head of your penis, tasting the precome before licking the underside of your dick. I'd bob my head back and forth while you tangled your fingers in my hair, shoving yourself down my throat," Roy grabbed his impossibly hard dick and started pumping once more.

"Oh, yeah," Ed gasped. Roy wished he could see what Ed was doing at the moment. Was he sitting on his bed or leaning against a wall? Was he desperately trying to imagine the picture Roy was painting with his words?

_Let's talk about bubbles in the tub...._

"I'd stop as soon as you told me you were going to come. Instead, I'd pump you with my hand and lick my way down to your balls. I'd suck on them for a while, but then I'd leave them alone."

"Why?" Ed whined.

"Because I'd lick you. I'd lick you from your balls to your tight little hole, making you moan loudly. I'd thrust my tongue into you and you would yank on my hair with pleasure. My hand would pump your dick as I thrust my tongue in and out of you," Roy panted; he knew he was reaching his limit.

"Oh, fuck," Ed whispered; he was reaching his own breaking point.

_Let's talk about makin' love...._

"I'd go as far into you as my tongue would let me; I'd make sure of it. I'd hit your prostate over and over, making you scream my name."

"Shit!" Ed shouted, causing Roy to hold the receiver away from his ear momentarily.

"Almost there?" Roy asked, gritting his teeth as he received a moan in response. His cock twitched excitedly.

_Let's talk about you on top, or me goin' down._

"You'd tell me you were going to come, and I would only go faster, tongue-fucking you until you couldn't take it anymore. You would reach your climax and grip my hair in your hands, causing me to shove my tongue far up your ass. As you came, you would ride out your orgasm using my wet, warm hand to pump yourself with. You would _scream_ my name," Roy drew out a moan from his lips and licked them, looking down at his sweaty body. His dick shuddered and his world exploded with white-hot waves of pleasure.

He closed his eyes and rode out his orgasm as Ed did the very same thing. He could barely hear the moans on the other end of the line, but he could make out his name when he heard it being shouted by the other alchemist.

"ROY!"

_Let's have a little phone sex, baby...on the hotline...._

Pearly white fluid shimmered on the dark, wooden floor. Roy stared at it for a moment before sighing out of contentment.

"Happy now?" The older man smirked; again, he could nearly _hear _Ed rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, so you're good at that. Okay? I said it. There," the blonde retorted.

Silence. Awkward silence.

"Well...I'll let you go get ready for work then," Ed cleared his throat. Embarrassment and shame.

"Yeah. Yeah, alright," Roy sighed. Regret in the younger man's voice was evident. It happened every time.

"I'll be back in Central in a few days. See ya then." The line went dead.

"Yeah..." Roy spoke into the beeping receiver. He knew Ed only used him for phone sex...but that didn't mean it didn't hurt when Ed hung up immediately afterward.

"And then..." he let out a long, deep breath, running his hands through his messy hair.

"And then I'd tell you that I love you."

He placed the receiver on its cradle and stood up to go get ready for another day of work. Another day without the little blonde angel that was Edward. Another day that wouldn't result in him confessing his love for Ed. He always told himself that he would confess, but he never did. So he settled for waiting around until the blonde called him, begging for phone sex. He would give in, as always. And he would always repeat the same thing....

"Maybe tomorrow." Maybe tomorrow he would confess his love for the Full Metal Alchemist. Maybe tomorrow Ed would just realize the extent of his feelings. Maybe tomorrow Ed would come over and act out all of the fantasies they had talked about before. Maybe tomorrow.... Just maybe. It had always been "_just maybe_." And it always would be.


End file.
